CTA Moments...

I waited a good amount of time for the train home today. I thought getting off work at 430 would be a blessing for my commute, but it turns out maybe not so much.
A crowded can of sardines at last arrived at the station. I crammed myself in between the doors and found solace in the middle section of the car. I let a small Mexican lady cram in with me and prayed my armpit didn't stink while I held on to the pole above her tiny head. After a day in an office wearing a cheap H&M collared shirt, there is no telling what the funk might be under my arms. Just saying.

I got myself comfortable with the situation.I checked my stance to make sure I could balance despite the train's quick turns and lurches forward and back, and I made sure my MP3 player was at the right volume so I could still vaguely hear the world around me. A double check of my bag--making sure it wasn't accidently open or knocking into someone--completed my checklist. I was ready for a 20 minute train ride home.

About 3 minutes into the ride, I noticed a warmth near me. Being in an overcrowded train, I wasn't surprised. As the Brown Line curves and twists, I often feel body heat from other passengers rub or brush against me. But this was different. It didn't go away. A man behind me and to my left was brushing up against me, not in an offensive "oh my God I can feel his boner" way or anything, but just a subtle sort of forced closeness. It alternated between various places--our arms, our hips, our lower backs...but the contact remained constant. And truthfully, I didn't make huge attempts to move away. I actually enjoyed the feeling of having no idea who he was but getting to feel the pressure of his hip against mine, or sense the heat radiating off his arm hairs, or feeling the weight of the day he had had in his feet. I could sense all of this, quietly, without ever looking him in the eye. And we shared a moment of human contact on the train for no reason beseides we had to- we were squished between a million other people.
These kinds of moments are why I moved to Chicago. In California, I felt the human contact shrinking away. I was always in my car or in a building or in my personal space bubble, rarely having to share much space with anyone. Here, in the city, there are forced interactions, and while at times they are irritating or not wanted, either way you are affected, every day, by your surroundings. No way to entirely "tune out" or not be present. And I like that.

So this guy and I shared a moment where I think we both actually enjoyed the feeling of another person's heat against us, and we let it happen more than we might have needed to. Certainly I let it happen more than if it had been some hairy old lady or something. And it was nice and not creepy but sort of comforting, like we were sharing our day for a moment, without words or eye contact.

I actually made accidental eye contact towards the end and we both turned our heads quickly like it had shattered our perceptions. And then he got off the train shortly after.

Ah,Chicago. How I do love thee.