Depressed? Try cookies.

Well it has been a long, gloomy June here in Chicago. It basically rains every other day. It's been a pretty consistent pattern of the following:
One great day that is warm and sunny
The next day will be almost too hot and the air will feel humid and heavy and uncomfortable, then it will break out into a big thunderstorm
Next will be a day of raining on and off all day
Finally we will get another single comfortably warm and sunny day. And the cycle repeats like that again and again all through the month of June

Well I am awfully sick of it.

My mood has taken a cue from the weather and plummeted into sadness with a hint of irritation with the world. Try as I might, I have not been able to shake the feeling that everything sucks. It's silly, I know. Cognitively I know this. But try telling that to the emotionally sensitive little girl taking up residency in my soul. She seems to think that nothing is going our way and that we are huge, ugly, untalented and unable to get what we want. Unfortunately, she is pretty convincing these days. I am totally falling for her take on the world. And I can't seem to stop it.

It does not help that I have been sick, which means I have had plenty of time to think about how lame everything is while I lay on the couch watching network TV. No wonder I am depressed! If I stumble upon one more reality show where stupid idiots are featured and seem to be doing just fine in their freaky little lives, I think my self-esteem or what is left of it will shrivel up and die. These people managed to get other people to watch them do really dumb stuff and make money doing it. How is that happening while I can't even land a job that will allow me some growth potential? It all makes no sense. The little girl in me agrees and feeds that mentality with her little voice telling me I can't catch a break.

So here I am going along all bitter-faced and sad. I am short-fused and curt to everyone I encounter. I am on the verge of tears at every bump in the road I experience. I am disenchanted with life. I am annoyed with friends and loved ones because no one can pull me out of this funk but myself. It has been like this for a few weeks now.

Well I am awfully sick of it.

So tonight I decided to try to write a little (which always makes me feel better) and bake some freakin' cookies. I baked the shit out of those stinkin' cookies. And you know what? They were delicious. I stuffed my stupid sad face full of chocolate chip cookies. I let myself eat way more of them than I should have, and now my stomach feels mildly bloated in that sugary-overload kind of way. And it is great. GREAT, I tell you!

I actually feel better already. Sometimes, if you have the emotionally sensitive little girl bitching and moaning inside, you just have to shut her the hell up by eating some cookies. It helps. I swear.