10) Facebook told me I write like Chuck Palahniuk. Then I gave another writing sample and it told me I write like David Foster Wallace. Then I tried again and it told me Cory Doctorow. So I have decided I am too manic in my writing style to ever amount to anything. Then I plopped on the couch to mope and eat ice cream and watch a "Say Yes to the Dress" marathon.
9) I have been making a concerted effort to exercise every day (see reasons above) and this seems to take up a lot of my usual writing time in the evening between work and dinner. It ain't easy getting less fat.
8) Summer in Chicago. I mean COME ON! Who expects me to stay in all hunched over my computer? I need to be riding my bike and drinking 'ritas on a patio and playing volleyball on the lake until the winter starts to set in, y'all.
7) I was too busy going to IKEA seven HUNDRED times in the last two weeks. (Bad desk legs were bought. Receipts were lost. DON'T ASK.)
6) I was too busy basking in the glow of my impending nuptials.
5) I was busy feeding my goldfish Guppy who should have been dead like a year ago but refuses to give up
4) I read all the other blogs out there and realized I could never compete with http://blog-of-stupid.blogspot.com/. Good night!
3) I felt really bloated
2) I did not remember how to spell "and"
1) My dog ate it.
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