Of Weddings and Nightmares

Dear Internet,

Last night, my fiance and I got confirmation that our deposit for our wedding venue has been processed, and as they say, "It's on."

I promptly went to bed and had a terrible wedding nightmare. My first official one, I suppose. That I remember, anyway. I woke up upset and freaked out like any good Bridezilla would be.

So here is what went down. We set up our wedding time and date, and apparently we lived only a two hour drive from Mexico (that can happen in dreams--go figure). So I had decided not to choose a wedding dress until a few hours before the ceremony. I had white dresses strewn all over the place, but all of them were pretty lame or too big or whatever. So suddenly it dawns on me (like it does in dreamworld) that we only had about 2 hours before our time slot began. Adam was nowhere to be found.

Turns out, he was stuck back at home, a whole 2 hours AWAY from our venue. I hopped in the car with my mother and sped into California 405 Freeway-style traffic to go get him. About 1.5 hours into our trip, the traffic got so bad that I just gave up on the whole thing and headed back to "Mexico."

By the time we got back, we were 30 min into our time slot and the coordinator was running around, trying to get me to get ready for our ceremony. I tried to explain the dilemma of no fiance, but could not get the point across. I ended up picking a crappy dress, throwing it on, and standing in front of all these strangers, drinking red wine while an officiant performed a generic ceremony for just me alone at the alter. I spilled red wine all over my white gown while I waited for the hell to be over.

Then I had a dinner buffet with all these strangers at my terrible wedding. My mother forced me to be cordial despite my devastation. And at the end of it all, I was presented with a bill for $15,000 for the whole non-event. I burst into tears. Then I woke up.

So apparently wedding nightmares are pretty common. But why so early? I still have way over a year to figure it all out. At this rate, I will be a basket case by Autumn.