I am listening to a random internet radio station that plays just what I like and it is making me intensely comfortable and cozy here at the desk. As I play in every way possible on the internet, I always keep my finger on the mouse to toggle back to the office email page...not that anyone really pays attention, or even really cares for that matter. But it's more of a game I play with myself: "Will I be able to hide the blog before someone walks by and sees it? "

I played a similar game when I was a child to keep myself amused when no one really cared: "How can I get from one end of the house to the other without anyone seeing me?"

I remember being so small and covert. I hid behind chairs and dove under tables and crawled as silently as possible across endless miles of kitchen floor, all the while my eyes trained on the newspaper covering up my father's face. Making it across his office doorway was easy...he was never really paying attention to much of anything. But getting past the gaping entryway to the living room when mom was watching TV? Nearly impossible. One had to stop breathing or she could sense you.

I used to think she had ESP.
She just chose not to use it too often because she didn't want to know what I was REALLY up to.

Anyway, so back to working...or not working, as it were.
I am cozy enough on this slightly chilly fall day, hanging out in my special ergonomic (how the balls DO you spell that?) chair, dreaming about being a real writer, doing whatever I want online save look at porn, thinking about the future, getting overwhelmed, keeping it simple--thinking about two days from now...That's better. And wondering (yet again) if I made the right decision declining the opportunity to have this 14 dollar an hour job permanently.

I fret oh so much. Really, it's annoying even to me, folks.

I think I did the right thing. I need stimuli as well as free time to play. There has got to be a job like that out there--where I still feel important but not without down time too.

That is my ideal right now.
That and just being paid to act or write all day.
Or maybe bowl. Being paid to bowl would be pretty cool too. Not well, mind you. Just bowl however you do. And get paid. Any gig like that out there? Anyone? Anyone?

No?
Damn.

Well I guess that is it for now. Tomorrow is another day where I will strive to arrive (rhyming is so satisfying!) on time yet again so no one bitches at me.