I find as I get older, I have a harder time knowing what to say to friends when they are opening up to me about their relationship or emotional break down woes. I used to feel like I wasn't sure what to say, but then I would say something, and that somehow turned magically into something insightful. Nowadays, I still don't know what to say, but whatever I try to say doesn't magically transform into greatness, but instead falls with a thud on ears who probably don't want to hear it.

I think (and I hope I am right on this one, for the sake of all my friendships) that mostly as we get older, we just need someone who will listen and be kind while we hurt. It isn't always words we want. It's time. Give me a little of your time so I can talk out loud these feelings going on inside, and I will cherish you as a good person in my life. Give me your ear over the phone so I can feel connected to something while I go through all this, and I will feel just a little better than I did before I got a hold of you.

I can't always give the time, and that is hard. And so I think I get upset at myself for not knowing what to say within the short amount of time I have to be there for the person. Like I should be able to come up with some words of wisdom to make up for my lack of time to sit and help someone reflect and process a situation. I am much better when I can give the time. But when the pressure is on to be somewhere or do something and a friend is in need, I suck. Or at least feel like I do. So then comes me attempting to say something helpful. And then comes me blurting something meant to help that really sounds sorta lame. And then comes me feeling badly that I couldn't say more.

And then I feel like a bad friend.

I know that's not true. I am not a bad friend.

I am just a friend with limited time these days.

I will try to work on that.