It is very early in the morning and I have a few extra minutes for once. I want to grab hold of something in my life. Something concrete, something true and real that allows me to trust it fully, no questions asked.

But right now I don't know if there is anything that fits that definition.

My family is far away. My life is about to go into a bit of flux again. My relationship is healing. My friends are all over the map, each of us trying to figure out who the fuck we really are. I am relatively calm about all this most days. Then there are those like this that shake me to the core and leave me feeling like a lost soul just bumping around in a slow pinball game. I still need meaning. I still need connection. I need strength. Always I need strength.

Ok. Work calls. Life calls.
What am I trying to say?
Nothing at all, when it all comes down to it.
Nothing at all.