Dear Ms Lady,
So how did you get into my water bottle anyway? I mean, I am pretty sure you came out of the tiny nub that opens and closes, and there isn't a whole lot of room in there. Did you hop on while I was biking, perhaps? Or were you somehow in the water machine at work and just fell right in and swam your way up to the sucker-part of my water bottle lid? Either way, pretty impressive work, my friend. Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible would be impressed.
Anyway, so when you were poured into my mouth with a mighty suck from my lips, did you think you were going to die? I would have. I am assuming it was pretty dark and warm and terrifying there. I know I almost crunched down on you in confusion. Did you feel my hesitation as I realized that something foreign had come out of my water bottle?
When I spit you out in the sink, I must say I was pretty shocked to see you. I thought perhaps you were a peanut skin or a gross piece of food that made it's way into my water bottle somehow. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that you would be a living creature. Especially one I happen to find cute. Usually.
Well, we both know how it all ended. I gagged, shuddered, half-yelped and told everyone at work about our shared moment. Then, realizing that you had been strong enough to live through the whole retched experience, I decided to scoop you up and let you go outside. You refused to fly so I tossed you off my hand and you landed with a tiny thud on the concrete. I ran back inside, still a little grossed out.
I hope you were able to get your wits about you and figure out how to move on with your tiny little life. I am still a little shaken but moving on just fine with mine.
Sincerely,
LR
PS you better be a sign of good luck, you bitch.
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1 comment:
I hate when that happens. I was took a drink that had a stinkbug in it. That was the absolute worst.
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